Why Mothers Need Some ‘Me’ Time and How to Get it.

“Today I’m giving myself permission to have a little ‘Me’ time so that I can be the best wife, mom, friend, and woman I can possibly be.” (and I will not feel guilty about it)…Anonymous

It is not about extra time, but Time for yourself

I really don’t understand how my day starts and ends. I am a late riser and so is my baby. Once we are up, the whole chore of breakfast and feeding the baby to making lunch, and getting her bathe takes half a day. Then we have lunch and by the time everything is done with the dishes, it’s already early evening. Then there is the dinner preparation and that’s it I am back to the bed again. Come to think of it, I haven’t done anything extraordinary and it is just how my everyday routine flows. Sometimes I think about the monotony of my life and how things could have been different if there would have been a little more time.

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In hindsight, I guess it’s not about having extra time but time for myself which I have not been able to take out. My everyday routine has made me a cog in the machine and I am simply following it without any break. This is when I realized that I needed some time for myself to do the things which will make me happy. Well don’t get me wrong being with my baby is a rewarding thing and it makes me happy. But somewhere down the road, I have lost ‘me’ the person I used to be fun-loving and happy. It is as though the whole chapter of motherhood has taken away the essence of my life and placed a boring and uncaring chapter in its stead.

How being busy affects a mom’s life

Being a mother is hard. We all know that. But that doesn’t mean that we lose ourselves in its stead. I love my baby and so do all the mothers. But isn’t loving ourselves first, the primary thing before we can love others. Why do society or people raise their eyebrows and call us selfish when we try to love ourselves first. Does being a mother means sacrificing our lives for the care of our child?

This kind of thing generally leads to a feeling of frustration and low self-worth. Being a mother is a beautiful experience. But it should not stifle us with the thought that it is the only experience in our life.

If we do not want ourselves to drown in the ocean of despair then we definitely need to pick our lives up and start loving it the way we did before having a baby. And this is why ‘Me’ time for mothers is very important.

Why ‘Me” time is Important

However, when I say ‘me’ time I do not mean going out for grocery shopping or taking a bath with candles as a time for ourselves. These are mandatory things that we need to do no matter what.

‘Me’ time should be a time when you can do something which interests you, engages you, and makes you happy without the disturbance of your child calling mommy mommy. It should be your time of Zen when nobody, not even your husband can take it away.  Whether you go out with your girlfriends for lunch or catch up on sleep, or read a book this is your time of peace and relaxation.

After a baby is born, a mother does nothing except care for her baby. Well, this is true as a mother has more emotional attachment than that of the father. But there are many women who tend to lose themselves after childbirth. They tend to put on weight, lose touch with friends, and seem to spend their entire time caring only for their little ones. They would often complain about the way they look, and this hinders them from going out to parties or any social gatherings.  This is where ‘Me’ time is important. Your baby is precious and we know that. But you are precious too. It is time you took out some time for yourselves and get your life back in the game.

How to get some ‘Me’ time as a mom?

If you are bombarded with work all day it is very important that you should take a step back and do something which will make you feel energized and rejuvenated.  Find out what makes you happy. It can be minor things like going for window shopping or reading a book. Below are some ideas that I had used to make some ‘Me’ time for myself.

Taking care of yourself

Motherhood makes you forget about yourself and concentrate only on your baby. While it is good to care for and love your child it is also important to care about your own self.  Go to a salon and pamper yourself. Get a nice haircut or do a pedicure. You can take the time to make yourself presentable like before. Nobody likes to look like a haggard. It is up to you to take out some time for yourself and start grooming as you had done before your child was born.

Making yourself fit

Mothers post-pregnancy often go through a phase where they lose touch with themselves.  While you are breastfeeding, it is important to eat for two, yet many mothers tend to more than what is required. As such they tend to put in the extra kilos resulting in being fat and overweight

It is good to keep yourself healthy by eating healthy food and at the same time doing exercises to keep yourself fit. All the dresses that you want to wear but cannot do so because of weight gain can be accomplished through exercise. It is up to you to decide whether you want to see yourself as obese or as healthy. Taking out half an hour for yourself is not something unachievable. You can join a gym or start exercising at home with all the resources available on the internet or YouTube. All that is required is your willpower. So push yourself out of your comfort zone and take a step towards a fitter you.

You may also want to read how to lose weight after pregnancy

Go out for a walk

Getting some ‘Me’ time as a mom does not mean you spend time doing something special. It can be a simple thing like taking a stroll among nature to invigorate yourself. Walking is helpful in taking out a lot of stress from your body. Just a few minutes out in the open air with nothing to distract your mind can do wonders for your body. Plus it is really really healthy. So if you are feeling anxious or agitated, then leave your child with your husband or other family members and go out for a walk. You will feel relaxed and refreshed and your body and mind will thank you for some ‘me’ time alone.

It is important to catch up on your sleep

Motherhood drains out all the energy from our bodies. The best way to replenish ourselves is by getting some sleep. But with a baby getting proper sleep is an illusion. While the baby sleeps, try to catch a few winks along with the baby. However, if the baby is awake, ask your husband or anyone in your family to look after the baby while you spend some time alone or sleeping without any interruptions.

Go out for dates with your Husband

Married couple’s relation takes a back seat with the arrival of the baby. Your baby becomes the center stage of everything as you tend to devote all your time to your little one. In the process, your husband tends to feel a little left out. It is very necessary to keep the spark between couples intact. Once in a while, you can think about going on dinner dates with your husband. Hire a babysitter or ask any of your family members to look after the baby for a few hours as you spend some quality time with your husband.  This will help you and your husband bond and strengthen your relationship.

Cook your way out

If you love to cook, then use your free time or ‘Me’ time to make a nice meal for your family. Cooking can be very therapeutic and it will help you to get over your stress and fatigue. While your child is asleep you can experiment with your culinary skills and cook your way out of boredom.

Go out with your friends

Make time to get in the social circle by calling your friends for movies or lunch dates. Catch up with them and find out what is happening with other moms and how and what they are doing to make their life stress-free and happy.

Reading as ‘Me’ time

If you haven’t been able to lay your hand on your favorite books then it is time that you have started it. Ask your spouse to take the baby for a walk or stroll while you can spend the time reading up on your favorite novel. Reading calms the mind and as such, you can perform your duties with much ease after getting the required ‘Me’ time.

Watching soaps and serials also count as ‘Me’ time

‘Me’ time does not always mean being away from home or going on vacations. It can include doing simple things like catching up on your favorite soaps and serials. It is hard to watch television with a baby or children at home. So take out the time for yourself and binge-watch your favorite serials while you ask your babysitter to look after the children.

Taking up Hobby as a ‘Me’ time

Another thing you can do to recharge yourself is by taking up some hobby. This will add some perspective not only to your life but you will also find that it is a great way to find balance in your life too.  Take up gardening, crafting, writing, or photography, or maybe if you are creative then take up sewing or stitching. It is a great way to distress your mind and help you find calm.  These will enable you to etch out meaning and identity to your life which will in return make you feel important.

In order to avoid burnout, chronic stress, and the feeling of being overwhelmed, it is extremely important that you step back and take a break for yourself.

Tired You is equal to unproductivity

Whatever it is, ‘Me’ time as a mom is your time away from the baby. However, you should not feel guilty about leaving your child in order to enjoy yourself. You should remember that you are his/her mother and nobody can love them more than you do. But you need to be at peace with yourself so as not to feel depressed or agitated. If you have been feeling depressed or you do not feel like taking care of your baby, you might be suffering from postpartum depression. Let your husband take care of the baby while you take some time off for yourself.

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Everybody needs a break from the hassles of everyday life and mothers too are no exception. It will be wrong to think of your ‘me’ time as self-indulgent. It is a part of self-preservation and there is nothing wrong with it. Too much work will lead to fatigue, burnout, and chronic stress. It is thus important for you to take a step back and take a break for yourself. Allow yourself to slow down and relax for a few moments a day or a few hours each week. This will help you gain a positive outlook and an improved sense of perspective

Remember a well-rested mom both emotionally and physically is a better mom and a better wife. When you are happy and peaceful, you can be more productive and accomplish more in a few hours than a frazzled, drained-out version of yourself.

These are some of the ‘me’ time ideas for moms that you can try out. Everybody has their own special ‘Me’ time. Comment below and let us know what is your favorite ‘Me’ time and how do you take out time for yourself. Share if you have liked the post.