As a parent, we take pride in every little achievement of our kids. Be it the first footstep or the first word they utter, our heart swells with pride seeing them grow. And it is our responsibility to encourage them and support them as they go through different phases in life. The achievements grow bigger and so do our words of encouragement. Praising your children helps their self-confidence and helps in building self-esteem. However, you need to be aware of what kind of praises you should shower them with. While praising acknowledges their behavior and abilities, too much of it, on the other hand, can backfire and make kids doubt themselves. But then, how do you compliment your child? Here are a few tips on how to praise a child with words to make it more effective.
5 useful tips on how to praise your child effectively
1. Praise their efforts rather than their intelligence:
Praising a child for being smart means praising them for what they already possess rather than for their efforts. It has been researched and found out that praising kids for their efforts resulted in better outcomes. It can be a great way to motivate your child to improve and excel in what they are trying to achieve. For instance, rather than being lazy and saying something like “You are so smart”, you can pinpoint their efforts and say something like “I really appreciate how you double-checked your assignment”. This can help them to continue with the positive behavior and make them believe that what they are doing is right. Instead of telling a toddler “Good Job”, pointing out their efforts will make them learn better and feel more appreciated.
2. Be sincere:
A key point to keep in mind while praising a kid is being sincere. Do not applause just for the sake of it. It is necessary to keep ourselves in check and not to utter encouraging phrases unmindfully. If they realize that you are being sincere in what you are saying, it makes more of a difference rather than hearing praises for every little thing they do. Overpraising will make them doubt you and wonder about your sincerity. Praising them for every little thing will hamper their improvement and will break them when they later realize what a really good standard is.
3. Keep the praise realistic:
As parents, we like to dream big for our kids. And many times, we are vocal about our expectations from our kids. While praising them as well, we tend to exaggerate. On the other hand, it is very necessary to keep a prase realistic rather than painting a rosy picture for them. Instead of saying, “That’s the best painting I have seen”, you could praise him for what you really like in the painting and let him know where he can improve. Otherwise, it ends up putting unnecessary pressure on the kid. A child could only do as much within his ability. Unrealistic praise makes them confused which in turn might keep them from trying again.
4. Avoid comparison while praising:
Comparing your kids with others could be detrimental not only to your child but for you as well. Every child is different and everyone learns a skill at his/her own pace. While one child might be good at something, another one might be good at something else. Praising kids by comparing them to other kids could only lead to self-doubts. As a parent, it should be kept in mind to praise your child only for his achievements and efforts rather than praising him in comparison to a peer. As a child grows up, the level of competition changes. Thus, he should be praised for his efforts in improving his own skills rather than for outperforming his peers.
5. Keep eye contact:
The way you praise is as important as the words you choose. While praising a child, look him in the eye to affirm you really mean what you are saying. This kind of interaction is important for raising the child’s confidence. He will understand that you are seriously talking to him and mean every word you say.
While it might not be easy to be mindful of all of the above, perseverance is the key. Raising a child is not easy. But we can always try to remind ourselves to be patient and try to choose our words carefully. “Good job” once in a while is okay but in the long run remembering to praise kids for their efforts is the best way to go. Most of us might have been raised with superficial praise and we tend to do the same without giving a thought. But being conscious of the way we praise will go a long way in building the confidence and self-esteem of our kids.
So, here we have discussed how to praise your child with words. If you liked this article then please share it with others. If you want to add on some more tips on how to praise your child, then let us know in the comments below.
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